I can feel it happening.
It’s not only the physical signs like the hem length of your jeans suddenly a few inches higher off the ground or your growth spurts requiring the fuel of a small army (no wonder when you eat at least one bowl of oats every night AFTER you finish your dinner). It’s in the more subtle ways such as you asking me to not refer to myself as ‘mummy’ anymore (‘mum’ seemingly more grown up and mature) and the response you gave me when I asked if you wanted cupcakes for your party this year – “Mum, I’m not two years old you know!
It’s the way I anticipate, not with wanting, how your soft cheeks that I kiss at night will one day very soon be prickled with stubble and the octaves of your voice will begin to crack. It’s the snippets of whispered conversation I overhear with your friends, which now include girls names never spoken before and the heady ‘boy smell’ that fills my nostrils after you and your friends have been playing ball. It’s also in the conversations, both with words and with your body, which tell me to keep out! There are a few losses too…..no more ‘knock nosy’ when I kiss you goodnight, in fact I am lucky if I even get a kiss before it is wiped away from your cheek. This was the year signalling the end of the incredible school kitchen classes where I got to cook with you and your classmates, and it was the beginning of being banished to the car when I drop you at a friend’s house, my only purpose serving as the taxi ride there and back.
This transition is happening. The truth is it has been happening for a while and is now picking up speed and momentum, hurtling to a world away from me, one where I am not invited, not even in my dreams. I remember when I brought you home from the hospital, with a bag of clothes you would soon outgrow, and suddenly I am at the place where you will soon outgrow me too.
People say ‘blink and you’ll miss it’; those fleeting moments when your child is still child and the moments are still yours to savour. But it’s when I blink that thousands of images of you dance across my mind. Sometimes I want to close my eyes a little longer, so I don’t miss a single memory. And this blog is my return ticket, to a time of your 11 year old self, already gone and never to return.
Just one goal….just one point
Your 11th birthday celebrations didn’t quite turn out as planned. The day of your birthday party, your East Malvern Knights footy team lost the semi finals by one goal in the dying minutes. You really felt the weight on your shoulders as you had tackled the opposition player and couldn’t hold on and they scored the winning goal. After wiping away the tears, you and your best buddies headed out to see Carlton play Collingwood in a do-or-die match. Carlton had a massive lead but just couldn’t hold on and lost by one point to Collingwood, and with that losing out on a spot in the top 8 for finals. It was a day that started out withy so much hope, yet didn’t go quite the way you wanted.
Your love of AFL
Your interest and knowledge of footy has certainly ramped up this year, as have your skills and abilities when playing the game. You diligently put in your footy tips every week, are happy to watch any game on TV (no matter which team is playing) and LOVE attending a Carlton game with dad at the MCG. But I think you prefer it when mum doesn’t attend so you get to eat as many salty hot chips as your heart and stomach desire. This year, I have really loved watching you on the field every Sunday. You are putting more of your heart and soul and guts into the game and have improved significantly this season, as evident by the messages I get from your amazing coach Jason, and the fact that you are covered in dirt by the end of most games.
PB in discus for district athletics
Whilst we on the topic of sports, last year on the 25th August, you took part in district athletics for discus – your favourite event. You scored a PB of 14.46 metres, coming third overall.
Developing emotional resilience
Your maturity and resilience in sport is developing year on year. Sport will be one of your greatest teachers, where you will experience the highs and the lows, the pressure and the triumphs and hone your ability to manage your emotions. In December last year, you were fouled out of a basketball game. As the game went on your emotions took over and in the last 5 minutes you received your fifth foul and had to sit out the rest of the game and you were not happy! This year, you have started learning the important skill of having a “goldfish memory” – as soon as you miss a basket or a ref makes a bad call, forget about it and carry on playing your best game possible.
Sport will also teach you how to handle hard losses in a way that nothing else in life will. Your basketball team made it to the grand finals last year, playing the team that were undefeated all season. All of you put up a hard fight right to the end but your team had to make do with runner up medals that day. It was a hard loss with many tears at the end. My heart ached for you, but in some ways I was “glad” you were crying. For it shows how much you were invested in going for the win and giving it your best shot. The flip side of hard losses is that when you do win a grand final, which you will, the win tastes that much sweeter.
Tell me you’re an 11 year old boy without telling me you’re an 11 year old boy
The dirt, torn school shirts, untied shoe laces and scratches all over your legs say it all. Not a day goes by where at least one of these things (usually a few of them) occur. I think one of these days your knees will become a permanent brown colour form playing footy in the playground at school. And I have had to Google innovative ways of getting first stains out of your footy uniform. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. I hope you will have many many years still ahead of you where you are covered in dirt, for that is a great sign of living the ultimate boy life!
Prime
The insane craze of Prime arrived in our household with full force and of course you said you HAVE TO have every flavour and made us drive across town to the one store that was selling it for the insane price of $10 a bottle.
Sickly sweet tooth
I don’t think I have ever known anyone like you who has such an appetite for sugar and never seems to get enough of it. Whether it’s drizzling bar one sauce on your crepes, devouring your stash of Halloween lollies or declaring your favourite meal in South Africa to be the waffle cone ice cream, you sure do love a lolly!
Your blood sister
There are many moments where I worry that you and Evie have drifted so far apart that you may never return to each other. Many a day goes by where neither of you say more than a few perfunctory words to each other, as though you have both given up on any sort of relationship. But other times I see glimmers of hope. Like Evie buying you a birthday voucher for EB games with her own money and writing you a thoughtful card. I wanted to include these photos from our trip to South Africa to remember the good times. I recall the one night in Oudshoorn the two of you racing down the road to the restaurant, chasing each other with giggles. I need to remember this and I really do hope that one day, you have a stronger connection. For siblings are our teachers. The people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring – quite often the hard way.
The big bnei party bash(es)
Just as your dad and I finished the late night shlepping of Evie from bnei mitzvah parties, so yours has begun with the girls inviting you to many of their bnei mitzvah functions. You are certainly part of the “cool boys” that get invited to many of these parties, starting with the first one in Feb where you and Angus were the only two boys invited to Mia Kallenbach’s bnei party.
A friend of the utmost loyalty
Your close friends mean the world to you. They are a central force in your life, one that grounds you, entertains you and fills your cup every single day.
You are always keen to a play date, a sleep over or anything that involves hanging out with one of your boys.
The many faces of Jake Lichtenstein
I have hundreds of photos of you pulling all different faces and all of them are just so perfectly you! There are some people in your life, both those that know you well and those that know you just a little, who think you are a quiet boy who doesn’t always communicate with more than a few words. Whilst that may be true, and can frustrate people at times, I know how much your brain and your heart and your very being is jam packed with thoughts and feelings and ideas and opinions. Jakey, you are definitely the most selfless person within our immediate family. The one least likely to lose their temper, have the maturity beyond your years to let things go and the insights to understand the world around you in a way that few people do. I love these funny faces, but I also love the many more serious and deep layers of Jake beneath the cheeky grin.
Boy through and through
You have always been, and still are, a boy through and through. It’s one of the meany reasons I named this blog ‘Fairies and Monkeys’ so many years ago. The monkey is growing up and will soon be more man than boy, but for now, I will relish the boys days. Whether it’s hanging your towel up in a typical boy way, telling me you will soon need to start shaving the peach fuzz off your upper lip, literally licking the bowl clean when we bake a cake, or being the only one fearless enough to jump off the giant boulders when we went river rafting in Tsitsikamma Gorge.
South Africa
This was quite a momentous trip so it feels fitting to include in your birthday blog. After postponing due to Covid, we finally made it to South Africa as a family. You climbed the famous Table Mountain and Lions Head, visited the poor town of Soweto, developed an undying love for bar one, nik naks and cream soda, and made our amazing trip so memorable!
Can I please hang on to you?
When you were a little kid, you and Evie used to literally hang onto me all the time. It was like I could never have any peace. Those days are long gone now. You have moved on from calling me mummy to now calling me mum. I have been instructed to always knock on your closed door and wait for permission to enter. And you will (just) tolerate me being around you and your friends if it involves getting a ride somewhere or needing me to make you food or anything else that serves a useful ‘mum purpose’.
Over the next few months in your 12th year of life, your legs will get longer and your chest will get broader. Your hugs will be fewer and I anticipate your tween problems may get a bit bigger, likely alongside your attitude! Your sweet boy face will start looking more like a man as a sign of an even greater transition overtakes you, with nothing I can do to slow it down.
So now it’s my turn to try hang onto you, and create new memories of the wonderful 12 year old Jake you are as of today. Happy birthday my angel pie. I love you very very much.
A 12 year old birthday interview
156cm tall
- Who is your best friend? Angus
- What is your favourite subject at school? Sport
- What is your favourite colour? Green
- What is your favourite food? Pizza
- What’s your worst food? Broccoli burgers
- What is your favourite app on your phone? Tiktok
- What do you like to do with Evie? Talk
- What do you like to do with mum? Cook
- And dad? play games
- What is your favourite birthday gift? PS5
- What do you want to be when you grow up? Drug dealer….joking!
- What makes you happy? Food
- What makes you sad? When I look at the weekly dinner menu on the fridge and I see there is a bad one coming up
- If you could have three wishes in the world what would they be?
- To have an iphone a million and one
- To have a private cruise ship
- To have a ferrari
- What is something you are really good at? Sport
- What is something you would like to improve? How will you do it? Basketball shooting. I will practise
- What is your favourite book? Kid youtuber
- What is the best part of your birthday? Getting my PS5
- If you could change one thing in the world what would it be? That everyone is happy
- What are you grateful for in life? That I have a kind and loving family
- Who is someone you admire and why? Michael Jordan because he is a really good basketball player and when he was young, he wasn’t the best but he put in lots of work and he became the best
- What do you think is important to do to keep our earth safe from climate change? Don’t chuck away plastic bags in the sea
- What is something important that your parents have taught you. You should never wish for something that someone else has
- What is something important that a grandparent has taught you?That donating is good
- Do you have a favourite memory?Visiting South Africa
- What type of music do you like? Pop
- What is your favourite footy card in your footy card album?Gold gallery wild card (James Sicily – Hawthorn)
- If you could tell the future, what is something you would like to know?How much money do I earn per second when I am dad’s age
- What is something you have done in your life that you are proud of? Make lots and lots of friends
- If you were an animal, what would it be? Dog
- What is something about you that many people don’t know? I don’t like Hebrew
- If I gave you $100 now what would you buy? More games for PS5
- What is one goal that you would like to achieve when you are 12 years old? How will you do it? Getting an A+ in every subject. I will study really hard
- What is something you think you should be allowed to do now that you are 12? Play video whenever I want
- Who will win the grand final this year? Carlton, duh
- What are you most looking forward to about having a barmitzvah next year? Going to Israel and doing things
- If you could get any birthday present in the world, what would you want? Double bed
- What do you think has changed most about yourself from being 11 to turning 12? More mature
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