Sweet sweet sixteen. My mini-me, but a thousand times smarter and more street aware than I could have ever dreamed to be at your age. You drive me absolutely crazy with rage and with love, both often simultaneously. Parenting you as a young adult is walking a razor-thin line of support and stepping in. It’s about offering help and not being hurt when you reject my offer. It’s requiring trust that I have taught you as much as possible about how to live a full and meaningful life, and accepting you for who you are and loving you no matter what. It’s not always easy, but it is always worth it.
When I set out to many years ago to write yearly birthday blogs for you and your brother I didn’t really have a plan. I knew how fleeting your childhood would be and these blogs were a way to capture the year prior and document your life and memories. Once you turn 18, I will no longer write an annual birthday blog. So that means this is the third last time that I write this time capsule. That idea leaves me feeling a little bit out of breath and in denial that in less than 3 years you will be classified as an adult….able to drive, vote, go to jail, earn superannuation and be wholly responsible for your own medical decisions .
As my parenting time of redundancy edges closer, I am comforted by the reassurance that you may not flee the nest of home the day you turn 18…..although if you could afford it I have no doubt you would. And whilst your presence in my life will dwindle, I cling to the belief that there will still be many more memories with every birthday beyond official adulthood. So for now, here is Evie at the age of 15…the good, the bad, the ugly and the oh so amazing. I think sixteen is going to suit you very well.
A Year of Many Firsts
Your first visit to Israel and Japan (hopefully both places you will visit many times more). Your first period in Israel, which so far has been a one off wonder as your body takes time to regulate its cycle. Your first payroll job working at Rozzis cafe at Malvern Central, which requires me to pretend I don’t know you every time I walk past, because of course it would be way too embarrassing for any of your co-workers to possibly think that you have a real life mother.
Your first pair of airpods for your 15th birthday…..followed by a very short time frame before their first disappearance. It was only about 3 months later when you got a lift home with Angus’s grandfather and you couldnt find them. We searched high and low, used the “find my” feature on apple, called up the grandfather who gave you the lift and there was nothing! Of course your nanny offered to buy you a new pair which was really not the best way to learn a lesson of losing something of value. Strangely they turned up in the cupboard with all the coffee mugs, but I think it gave you a fright and that has been the only loss…so far.
Of course you have made up for losing valuable things by yet another bloody loss of your oversized owala. I swear, I have no idea how something that big can be lost that often!
The First Last Dance Competition
A few months ago I watched you perform a new ballet troupe dance, poised on your pointe shoes and clad in a fire-red tutu. I had a lump in my throat as there is a chance it may be the last time I watched you dance in a troupe competition. You performed in the Lion Heart program this year, but this past term you chose not to dance due to logistical calendar challenges like your Year 10 exam week starting the day after the concert. I think you were a bit glum on the day of the concert that you were not taking part, and it also made me realise that unbeknownst to me, you may have already performed in your very last Kim factor concert last year. Next year you will hopefully be on your year 11 Israel trip at the time of the concert and once Year 12 starts I doubt you will be dancing. It’s been quite the era since little demure Evie danced in her very first Kim Factor concert over a decade ago. It’s crazy and unbelievable and somewhat sad that this huge part of your life is coming to an end. Dancing has been fundamental to your very being. Whilst you were never going to turn it into a career, it has rewarded you with posture, muscular strength, commitment, friendships and the best part of all….a way to confidently express your absolute joy.
180 Degrees of Friendship
I can’t get over how much some of your friendships have changed in just one year and how you have come full circle to being good friends again with some of the girls that treated you with un-kindness a little over a year ago. When you were going through all the friendship dramas at the start of year 9, I remember the psychologist advising me not to bad mouth any of the girls, as she said there is a good chance you would be friends with them again and she was absolutely correct!
Last year you celebrated your birthday with a group of friends who did exactly that – celebrate YOU. This year your birthday lunch includes some of those friends, as well as some of the girls who had ostracised you two years ago. Friendships will come and go and change throughout your life. But one thing I am so proud of is how you persevered through those challenging times and it has made you a strong individual who knows your worth and will not let anyone walk all over you.
The night before Purim in March, you had about 7 girls sleep over (you were all going dressed as Toy Story for Purim at school). The year prior you refused to go to school for purim as you had been excluded from the dress up groups. I sat outside your room listening to you and your friends shriek with laughter and I wept with happiness. It was such a relief to have come full circle in one year and I was so grateful you were once again in a happy friendship place.
In April this year, Miley Siegel (one of the real instigators of excluding you in year 9) reached out to you and Amy asking if she could hang out with you girls and suddenly apologised to you for all the angst and awful-ness she had caused. Of course there was a motive behind her change of attitude and that was because her other friends discovered her true colours and kicked her out of their friendship circles. I was secretly glad about this as she was a real bad egg and one of the worst offenders of the “let’s be mean and exclude Evie” campaign last year. I was so appreciative that you shared with me that Miley now wanted to be friends and asked for my advice. I told you that you can choose whoever you want to be friends with but suggested you have a think as to why now, 18 months later, she all of a sudden realised what a bitch she was and that it seemed convenient for her to apologise now that she was in dire need of some new friends. I reminded you to never be unkind and treat others that way, and that you should always be the bigger person. You let her know in no uncertain terms that she hurt you really badly and that you were now protective over your group of friends and she was not invited to join.
I am so proud of you Evie. What you went through was an extremely challenging social experience for you. And like many of life’s hard lessons, it is a relief when it is over, but at the same time it is an experience worth having. You now have the resilience and confidence to more effectively deal with many future relationship issues that you will no doubt experience in your life.
I knew for certainty that you will get through other friendship challenges during Purim this year. the night before, about 8 girls slept over at our house (you were all going together as Toy Story). I sat on the carpet outside your room listening to shrieks of adolescent laughter and I nearly wept with mum happiness. I recalled Purim the year prior, where you refused to go to school as the girls who had been your besties 5 minutes earlier decided you were not invited to dress up with them. Sitting outside your room restored my faith in the ultimate life cliche that everything shall pass. And when it passed, you emerged form it bolder, bigger and mightier than ever before. I am so super proud of you for fighting your fight and winning.
Friendships all the way to the Arava
In August , you had the most wonderful opportunity hosting an exchange student from the Arava delegation who came to Australia as part of a Bialik program for Year 10 students. From the moment you and Nufar exchanged your first Snap video, you two were international besties. It truly was an eye opening and amazing experience for all of us. Dad and I were dumbfounded when you chirpily wished us good morning each school day and how you were quite able to be ready on time for an early lift to school. I am still not quite sure where ‘moody-I-dont-need-to-catch-the-early-school-bus’ Evie disappeared to for those 10 days but it was marvellous. You developed strong friendships with the whole Arava delegation and it cemented an already strong connection you had ignited when we visited Israel in December.
I know you were bitterly disappointed when Chavayah was cancelled, not only for missing out on your Israel school trip, but having to wait so much longer to reconnect with Nufar and all your Arava buddies.
School rules….what’s that?
2025 had no shortage of emails and phone calls I received from Josh Kolski advising me of some or the other disciplinary action to be taken for you once again flounding the rules. Whether it was you creatively cutting up your Bialik tracksuit pants and sewing the yellow strip of material onto your preferred Glassons tracksuit pants, or simply not rocking up to a detention, it got to a point where I told Josh to email or call dad to discuss future grievances as I was tired of nearly daily calls and emails
Time and time again I have tried to explain to you the need to play by some rules, even when you believe the rules are simply outrageous. The reason to comply is not necessarily because you live in a democratic society that requires abiding by stipulated rules (although that is important for later in life if you don’t want to go to jail!), but more importantly because it will be in your favour to do the right thing by others, as you will reap the benefits. Sometimes I think you choose to cut off your nose to spite your face, simply because someone else has told you what to do, so you will be dafka and do the opposite. You need to learn the fine art of telling someone to F-off with a smile, as you will come across many idiots in your life, but you may also need these idiots to do something for you, so you have to learn to play the game to your advantage.
Like most things in life, the consequence only becomes a consequence when it has an impact. All the school detentions were water off a ducks back to you (you once told me that you like detention as you get to complete your homework), and so the day finally came where a consequence did hurt a little. You were the first to respond to an email asking for one more year 10 hadracha leader to attend the year 3 camp in October. For context, the hadracha students get to choose either the year 5 camp or the year 3 camp and you had already attended the year 5 camp in March. You were super excited to be allowed to go on a second camp as a student leader. At the start of term 3, JK and Gary Vellman called you into the office to explain that you were not allowed to attend the year 3 camp due to your ongoing negative behaviour. As JK explained to me, it wasn’t so much that you did things like wear the wrong tracksuit pants to school. It was the fact that after you were told you cannot wear your creative Glassons tracksuit pants , you still arrived the very next day wearing the same tracksuit pants! I know you were upset and disappointed about not going on the extra camp and in some ways it was a good result as you finally experienced something you didnt like and realised it was a consequence to actions you chose to do. So far, as I write this birthday blog, I have not had another call or email from the school regarding any behavioural issues and I hope it stays that way. Dad and I are funding a 3-month gym membership for you and we have told you that even if there is a single contact from the school about any issues, then you have to pay for the full 3- month membership.
Cheating but not Cheating
In your mid year June exams, you were accused of cheating in your PE exam. Jess Lewis kept turning around in front of you to ask you questions and you asked her to stop. The teacher on duty noted both you and Jess talking during the exam, and as a result you both got a big fat zero for the exam. I did (and continue to) believe you that you did not cheat, and I stepped in and emailed the school to provide my opinion on the harsh punishment that was dealt equally to you as well as Jess who was the one actually trying to cheat. The school stayed committed to the zero mark for both of you (even though Jess admitted to the school that she was asking you questions), as the exam policy clearly states that any talking during the exam is regarded as cheating. It did suck to be the one who was penalised as it sounded like there was lots of cheating going on in many of the exams. But that’s life when you get caught even when it may be unfair. I hope this is a great lesson to learn when its only mid year exams in year 10 and this will be the first and last time you ever talk in an exam. Despite this cheating incident, you worked really hard for your June exams and I rewarded you with a helix piercing that you had been nagging for over many months.
You are extremely bright Evie and you have the ability to excel at many of your school subjects. As of writing this blog post, your VCE subject choices are biology (you will finish the 3/4 unit in year 11), Math methods, Physics and Chemistry (and you just received the highest chemist exam result in the year – a whopping 99%, super amazing!). A year ago you had plans to be a Physio after school, now you have switched to wanting to be a dermatologist and I am sure by next year this time it will be something else. I think it is quite evident you will chose a career in human science, but whether that is medicine or biomedical engineering or hundreds of other science-related human health choices who knows. It is only with experience that one realises your career takes a very squigly path in life and I hope that you find a career that is rewarding in more than financial terms. This year you applied for a Melbourne University scholarship that is offered to year 10 students. They only take 2 students per year and you knew you had a low likelihood of getting the scholarship as it was going to be awarded to some of the genius kids at Bialik (Abi Pudel and Liz Lazarow got it). But applying for it despite the low odds is a big credit to you Evie as it’s the soft skills like determination and giving something a go that will give you the edge in life, especially when competing with hundreds of other applicants. Although I did have a giggle when on the day you found out you never got the scholarship, you told me you were worried that you might have a defective hereditary gene that stops you getting into medicine like happened to me!
To Buy the Booze or Not Buy the Booze
And so the day has arrived, when I am writing about the new trials and tribulations of parenting a teenager who is going to parties and drinking alcohol. It’s a tough one Evie as when you ask me to buy you alcohol as I don’t fully support the under age drinking and I don’t feel it is my role as a parent to buy you alcohol when it is illegal. I know that you will get it one way or the other and I want to at least have some say in what alcohol you are drinking, and more importantly allow that to open a conversation about how to manage these parties, the drinking and everything that comes with it. A few weeks ago it was Jess Lewis’s 16th birthday party where Amy’s older sister bought you some Bacardi breezers. This month there were two Halloween parties and we negotiated to buy you two cans of alcoholic soda for each party. Of course you tried your luck and asked for whisky fireballs too, but we drew the line there. Drinking too much will be a rite of passage in your life, but I do hope that the binge drinking episodes are kept to a minimum. Already some of your friends have downed too many shots at preez and as a result had to be picked up from the party by their parents, vomiting their way to a really bad hangover the next day.
Along with the alcohol comes all the other facets of teenage party life…The hot pants and push up bras, the planning and pruning, the self conscious aspects of being a young adult. I am not quite sure what lies in store for the next couple of years, but I hope I can help you navigate it from the side lines, and will be there to pick you up whenever one-too-many vodka shot goes horribly wrong.
The Gift of Sewing
Your nanny gifted you and Freya a sewing machine and sewing lessons this year. You have taken to it like a Duck to water, or should I say a needle to thread, and have made some beautiful clothes (including some very very mini skirts), cushions, beautiful zipped bags for birthday gifts and a very special hand-made quilt, which took countless hours and way too many trips back and forth to Spotlight.
Love for the Holy Land
In December 2024 we visited Israel. It was a very significant trip as not only was it your very first visit to Israel, but it happened to take place in the middle of one of Israel’s most significant wars ever, following the Oct 7th Massacre of 2023. Despite a few middle-of-the-night siren wakes where we all had to rush into your room that happened to be the bomb shelter (you were most unimpressed with that), it was a trip that completely captured your heart and Jewish soul. Since we have been back you have repeatedly voiced your desire to return there to live one day. Whilst your lofty ideal dreams of living in a gizillion dollar Tel Aviv beach front apartment may be slightly unrealistic (at least until you become a very successful dermatologist earning shit loads of cash), I do hope you get the Israel experience you desire. For Israel will always be your true home land and I am eternally grateful that our family got to experience this together.
The Best Travel Companion
A second overseas trip in one year….you are one damn lucky gal! We went on a family holiday to Japan in September and what a holiday it was! I really rate this as one of our best family holidays, not only because Japan is the most amazing country to visit, but because it really was such fun travelling with you and Jake now that you can travel like adults. Dad and I both remarked a few times on the trip how amazing you were. You thanked us at every moment for what you were getting to experience, you had more energy that the Duracell Bunny and you were so keen to try every new experience and just lap it up. From the moment you sent me your powerpoint slide deck with the fully detailed list of everything you wanted to do in Japan, you were right on board with maximising every moment of this holiday. Watching you giggle uncontrollably at the Sumo show and then ask the sumo wrestler for a TikTok video is a moment I will never forget. You discovered a love for matcha, the hedonism of shopping at Don Quixote and the culinary joy at trying new foods. I loved doing Disney Sea with you and discovering all the many many hidden delights that Japan offers.
Family Matters
Family is really important to you and you place a lot of value on family in your life. Watching you interact with your grandparents and baby cousins will always be my favourite memories of you.I hope next year this time we will be waiting for you to come back from Israel for us to then fly to Thailand to go on holiday with Hughie, Avi, Kimmy and all the aunts and uncles and cousins. And you are so super patient with your pops when you have to repeat the same phone and IT lessons for him every single time he comes to Melbourne.
The Ying and Yang of Teenagehood
You now make your own meals for school, but your clothes-covered carpet in your room still depicts your teenage style of life. You organise your own gym and work schedule but I have to convince you to go see the doctor when your infected toe is oozing pus. You stubbornly refuse to believe that genetics will get in the way of your desire for a golden tan, yet you learn the hard way every summer when you brutally burn your skin to a very non fashionable shade of bright red. You tell me you don’t like many of the dinners I make, but every night text me from your room asking what time dinner will be ready and complaining you are starving. You apply for your own school scholarships and jobs, but ask for help and tell me you will kms (kill myself) when your boss gives you a work shift that clashes with a dance comp and you don’t know what to do. The ying and yang of teenage hood. The cusp of adulthood with one foot out the door yet the other firmly planted in the safe realm of home.
Evie you are becoming a woman and I have this quiet ache that has crept in recently. One I wasn’t quite ready for. As I proof ready this blog post I realise I don’t photograph you as much as I used to. Not because I don’t want to, because I do, desperately. But you’re more private now and you need to be in the right mood and you need to give me permission. And honestly it breaks my heart a little. Because I know these years are short. I know I am heading into the final stretch of you living at home. Of me being right there, in it with you.
Documenting each birthday year has taught me to hold tighter to the in-between, to notice the shifts. The softness. The space growing between us. And it’s reminded me that these memories aren’t just for now. They’re for later. For when I need to remember who you were, and who I was, in these fleeting, complicated beautiful years. Happy sweet sixteen my beautiful beautiful Evie peevie. I love you.
Evie you are becoming a woman and I have this quiet ache that has crept in recently. One I wasn’t quite ready for. As I proof read this blog post I realise I don’t photograph you as much as I used to. Not because I don’t want to, because I do, desperately. But you’re more private now and you need to be in the right mood and you need to give me permission. And honestly it breaks my heart a little. Because I know these years are short. I know I am heading into the final stretch of you living at home. Of me being right there, in it with you.
Documenting each birthday year has taught me to hold tighter to the in-between, to notice the shifts. The softness. The space growing between us. And it’s reminded me that these memories aren’t just for now. They’re for later. For when I need to remember who you were, and who I was, in these fleeting, complicated beautiful years. Happy sweet sixteen my beautiful beautiful Evie peevie. I love you.
A Sixteenth Birthday Interview
- Who is your best friend? Amy
- What is your favourite subject at school? Chemistry
- What is your favourite colour? Red
- What is your favourite food? Salad
- What meal would you cook for a family dinner? Pasta with sauce
- What do you want to do when you finish school? Dermatologist
- What is something that brings you joy? My friends and family
- What is something that frustrates you but you know you have to do it? Hebrew
- What country would you like to visit on holiday and why? Israel because it’s my fav
- What is a current trend you hope never dies? I don’t follow trends
- What would you like to change/achieve in your life during your 16th year of being in this world? Get a perfect score in unit 3/4 Biology next year (50 – highest rank)
- What is something you would never be caught dead wearing? Baggy leggings
- What is something you admire about your mum? You’re like proactive, I guess
- What is something you admire about your dad? He is kind
- What is something you admire about Jake? He is also kind
- What is a favourite memory from being 15? Going to Israel
- What in your life has changed the most between being 15 and 16? Nothing
- What is the something you wish your parents did differently? Stop relating everything to taking money from me.
- If you had three wishes, what would they be?
- To be a dermatologist
- To go to Israel
- To have a good Year 10 camp (next week)
- What is something you are really good at? Making my school lunches
- What’s your most treasured possession? My birthday cards
- What is one wish you hope to fulfil before you turn 18? Go to Israel
- If you could turn time travel and talk to 10-year old Evie, what would you tell her? Have fun and enjoy life
- If I gave you $100 now, what would you buy (you have to spend it)? A coat
- What are you most looking forward to about being in Year 11? Doing the elective subjects I have chosen
- If you could choose any 3 teachers in year 11, who would they be? Dr Cass (chemistry), Miss Coffee (English), Miss Bridgeco (math)
- Which subject do you think is going to be your best VCE result? Biology
- Describe 16 in 3 words or less? Main Character
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